Some people, especially law enforcement, have trouble making a distinction, or refuse to recognize the difference between a killer’s torture chamber and a dominant’s playroom, which is sometimes called a dungeon. A killer’s torture chamber is exactly that, but a dominant’s playroom is for consensual BDSM and role-play, between two or more participants.
The truth of the matter is there are predators who stalk for prey in the BDSM community. They recognize vulnerable, needy submissives and they know how to attract them. There are also legitimate BDSM sadists in the leather and BDSM communities. This group are not referred to as sexual sadists, because sexual sadism is listed as a psychiatric disorder associated with illegal activities such as rape, torture and murder.
BDSM sadists are looking for willing participants who are counterparts, or masochists, for safe, sane and consensual play. The line that separates consensual BDSM play from cruel or violent BDSM play is a lack of respect for the submissive’s limitations. In my opinion, BDSM play between individuals is no longer considered BDSM, but is considered violence or abuse if the play is forced on a submissive or masochist and their limitations are not respected. This is where it becomes a complicated, confusing and sensitive matter.
Persons who engage in what is supposed to be BDSM play, but has crossed the line to cruel and abusive behavior can be considered acts of violence or even assault and battery. See
the explanation of “assault and battery” found on the Internet in The Free Dictionary by Farlex: Two separate offenses against the person that when used in one expression may be defined as any
unlawful and unpermitted touching of another. Assault is an act that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent, harmful, or offensive contact. The act consists of a threat of harm accompanied by an
apparent, present ability to carry out the threat. Battery is a harmful or offensive touching of another.The main distinction between the two offenses is the existence or nonexistence of a touching or contact.
While contact is an essential element of battery, there must be an absence of contact for assault. Sometimes assault is defined loosely to include battery.
The group of dominants or sadists that fall into this category are sexual sadists which can be potentially dangerous individuals. I believe it is sometime difficult in the BDSM community to distinguish the respectful sadists from dangerous sadists, because they blend into the subculture by camouflaging their cruel, sadistic desires as BDSM activities while living amongst people in the BDSM lifestyle.
I have witnessed many S/M scenes in the past 35 years which I would have assessed crossed the line into abuse and cruelty, but these scenes were usually justified by both participants as scenes between consenting adults. If those particular heavy S&M scenes were viewed by naïve spectators, people unfamiliar to BDSM activities, or law enforcement, it would appear that a sadist was torturing his victim. Here is where it becomes debatable and controversial. Why? Because who has the authority to decide which activity is S&M, but another is torture and abuse? BDSM activities are accepted and sometimes tolerated within the community, but could be viewed by local and state level Bureaucrats as illegal, cruel behavior or assault and battery. As you read above, assault, meaning the threat of violence, or the intent to harm someone or cause offensive contact and battery, meaning physical violence; a harmful or offensive touching of another. Legal distinctions and definitions of this crime may vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction as a misdemeanor or a felony.
If a sexual sadist tortures and kills his victim, or intends to kill his victim, he is a psychopath, and definitely not a member of the Leather or BDSM community. This is where it gets tricky. If a sadist living in the leather or BDSM lifestyle engages in extreme S/M for his sexual pleasure, and the sexual, masochistic pleasure of his partner, with no intent to permanently harm, abuse, or kill his partner, his play is accepted by most people in the lifestyle. This doesn’t mean that all people in this alternative lifestyle condone or approve of all methods of S/M. That’s another matter where there can be a discrepancy and a fine line between torture and S/M. The difference between torture and S&M is in the eyes of the beholder. Consensual S&M is not intended to be torture, however I have seen S&M scenes that I would label torture.
In the late 1990s, a lady I guessed to be in her thirties, who claimed to be a female slave owned by a male master, visited my dungeon one evening. She sat at the foot of my chair and spoke about the policies in her D/S (dominant/submissive) relationship which was in the Gorean modality. I listened intently along with two other mistresses who were sitting close by. But what I heard has stayed with me for years.
“If my master wants to kill me, he has the option and privilege to do so.” She said proudly and firmly with a straight face, as though she needed to share her situation with someone. I was blown away, as I had never heard that before! I said to her,
“You’ve got to be kidding!” She said,
“No, that is true. If my master doesn’t want me anymore, he has the right to kill me.” I asked her to repeat what she had said just in case my ears had failed me, but I received the same comment the second time. I quickly learned that night that there was another violent thread in the BDSM community which obviously wasn’t common knowledge to all of us. I wondered if all folks that practiced in the Gorean modality believed in the same philosophy, or was it only a select few?
I suppose I could have done research on it, but I was so stunned at the time that maybe I had preferred to put it out of my mind rather than find out the truth about this philosophy because it was a part of my S&M world and brotherhood? If this were true, if there was a group in my underground community that had adapted to practices from the Gorean culture, then in my mind, the
fine line between BDSM’s safe, sane and consensual protocol and violence just got
transparent. If this was true, would it be reasonable to understand why it is difficult
for law enforcement to make the separation between consensual and non-consensual
S/M? Between S&M and torture? You be the prosecutor and the judge.
