Category: BDSM

S&M VS TORTURE IN THE BDSM COMMUNITY

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Some people, especially law enforcement, have trouble making a distinction, or refuse to recognize the difference between a killer’s torture chamber and a dominant’s playroom, which is sometimes called a dungeon.  A killer’s torture chamber is exactly that, but a dominant’s playroom is for consensual BDSM and role-play, between two or more participants. The truth of the matter is there are predators who stalk for prey in the BDSM community. They recognize vulnerable, needy submissives and they know how to attract them. There are also legitimate BDSM sadists in the leather and BDSM communities. This group are not referred to as sexual sadists, because sexual sadism is listed as a psychiatric disorder associated with illegal activities such as rape, torture and murder. BDSM sadists are looking for willing participants who are counterparts, or masochists, for safe, sane and consensual play. The line that separates consensual BDSM play from cruel or violent BDSM play is a lack of respect for the submissive’s limitations. In my opinion, BDSM play between individuals is no longer considered BDSM, but is considered violence or abuse if the play is forced on a submissive or masochist and their limitations are not respected. This is where it… Continue reading

A SNEEK PREVIEW OF MY BOOK, ‘QUEEN OF DOMINATION’

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Epilogue Flashback to 1981, The Story Unfolds It is July 2012. I am at home sitting in my quaint office-library and surrounded by books. I take a deep breath. My pulse starts racing, and I wonder where did all the time go? What happened to the last thirty plus years of my life? Why did it speed by so quickly? Is this where I’m supposed to be in my life now, or should I be engaged in something else before it’s too late? I glance to the left side of my desk and notice the famous Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy staring at me, stabbing at my gut. I feel a nauseating rush and all at once I am irritated and envious. Those were my books to write. After all, I have lived that life. My office hugs me in a sphere of tall, fully stuffed bookcases of non-fiction literature containing some of the most intense and extreme educational texts. How- to sex manuals, books on psychology, abnormal psychology, human sexuality, sexology, personality disorders, perversions, fetishes, other paraphilias, relationship self-help manuals, books on alternative lifestyles, gender-bending, criminal behavior, and even a few tomes about serial killers and the mafia. To… Continue reading

The Appeal of BDSM

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Today, BDSM has become more popular than ever, and part of its appeal is its somewhat taboo nature, which makes it even more exciting and erotically stimulating. Examples of the popularity of BDSM are everywhere in popular entertainment, books, and the media today, such as in the great success of Fifty Shades of Grey, soon to become a major motion picture, and the top selling songs and albums by Miley Cyrus, Madonna, and other singers who use the role play of a dominatrix in their videos. So what exactly is BDSM, who likes it, and why?   In a nutshell, the B stands for bondage, where one partner ties up or restrains another with everything from ropes to chains and handcuffs. The “D” stands for “domination” where one partner dominates another in a power exchange and enjoys that charge of power, while the other likes being powerless. The S stands for submission and sadism, where one partner “punishes” or “tortures” another, such as by using whips and restraints, while the other “submits” and enjoys the experience, because this is just fantasy play, not real punishment or torture, like in a jail or prison. And finally the “M” stands for “masochism,” where… Continue reading